I wish I was...
Sittin all alone at home, I thought to call Michal
the phone rang once
she said "hello"
and started wailing like the wall
"Harbeer," she cried, "I've tried and tried
to find a Jewish boy..." I said "Ahoy! Išll be your toy! If youšll accept a goy."
Alas, it seems, girls of my dreams,
since I have been a tyke
Are in the clan of Abraham
I'd rather be a kyke!
Refuse my passes 'cause I don't wear payises
and call myself a Jew,
I even bought YENTL to save on rental
(SUCH A SENSIBLE BOY I AM!)
but still can't get a screw
I'd get a bris just for a kiss
light candles during Hannukah,
Eat gefilte fish with Manischewitz
I'd even sport a yarmulke.
I'd banish yeast for the Pesach feast
and fast on Yom Kippur,
Help you recoup with matzo ball soup
when your health is poor.
I'd give up lobster to make your roster
I'd even give up bacon,
I'd ditch my grocer, turn my kitchen kosher,
'cause you plus me is a filet minyan.
At last I found some common ground
with a honey that I like
But she wonšt have boys, kykes or goys,
alas the girl's a dyke!
Zeek in Print
Spring 03 issue available here
Zionism and
Colonialism?
Michael Shurkin
Simulacra and Science Fiction
Dan Friedman
I Hear America
Bling-blinging
Jay Michaelson
I wish I was...
Harbeer Sandhu
Josh Gets Contacts
Josh Ring
When I Met Humility, I saw Letters
Abraham Mezrich
Saddies
David Stromberg
Zeek @ Low
June 26, 2003
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