I wish I was...

Harbeer Sandhu

Sittin all alone at home, I thought to call Michal
the phone rang once
she said "hello"
and started wailing like the wall
"Harbeer," she cried, "I've tried and tried
to find a Jewish boy..." I said "Ahoy! Išll be your toy! If youšll accept a goy."

Alas, it seems, girls of my dreams,
since I have been a tyke
Are in the clan of Abraham­
I'd rather be a kyke!

Refuse my passes 'cause I don't wear payises
and call myself a Jew,
I even bought YENTL to save on rental
but still can't get a screw
I'd get a bris just for a kiss
light candles during Hannukah,
Eat gefilte fish with Manischewitz
I'd even sport a yarmulke.

I'd banish yeast for the Pesach feast
and fast on Yom Kippur,
Help you recoup with matzo ball soup
when your health is poor.
I'd give up lobster to make your roster
I'd even give up bacon,
I'd ditch my grocer, turn my kitchen kosher,
'cause you plus me is a filet minyan.

At last I found some common ground
with a honey that I like
But she wonšt have boys, kykes or goys,
alas the girl's a dyke!

More poetry:

yom kippur Sara Seinberg
April, 2003

The Reason for Jellyfish Hal Sirowitz
March, 2003

Repentance Poem #4 Matthue Roth
October, 2002

four untitled poems Joseph Dobkin
September, 2002

dick Matthue Roth
June, 2002

Deep, Jewish Pain Andrea Liu
February, 2002

June 2003

Zeek in Print
Spring 03 issue available here

Zionism and

Michael Shurkin

Simulacra and Science Fiction
Dan Friedman

I Hear America

Jay Michaelson

I wish I was...
Harbeer Sandhu

Josh Gets Contacts
Josh Ring

When I Met Humility, I saw Letters
Abraham Mezrich

David Stromberg

Zeek @ Low
June 26, 2003
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