A JEWISH MASTERPIECE tells two stories: one is of Theodor Herzl, the father of Zionism, who in his short life (he died at age 44) went from being a self-hating Jew to the "Modern Moses." To me, though, what is more fascinating than this political conversion, is that, even after creating and maintaining a worldwide political movement with annual congresses, Herzl thought of himself primarily not as a politician, but as a grievously overlooked, critically-ignored playwright.

Herzl’s plays (ludicrous bedroom farces) and the theatricality of his world-changing politics are interwoven with a second story: that of the rise of Ariel Sharon, the violence that has accompanied Israel from its birth, and the frightening development of Herzl’s utopian vision of a new kind of Jew.

The play is a work of imaginative fiction, but the broad histories of Herzl and Sharon are taken from fact. Several pieces of text have been pulled directly from Herzl’s journals, and the creation and actions of Sharon’s Unit 101 in Qibya are a matter of public record. - David Zellnik

SCENE 1: 1891, a café in Vienna

Herzl clean-shaven, sits alone in his café in Vienna. Now and again he writes in his journal.

HERZL: March 1st 1891. Still hung over from the party Jacob dragged me to last night. What can be said of a party with so many ugly Jews in attendance? I counted 37 of them. It doesn’t do the heart any good. Many brilliant plays suggesting themselves to me. But which one is to be my masterpiece? If I know anything at all, I know I have it in me to write the most profound comedy ever written for the Viennese stage... (Crosses out word) Any stage... (Crosses out word again) The Viennese stage. Where the hell is Jacob? I gave him my newest play over 14 hours ago -

A man pulls up a chair – Jacob, Herzl’s age. He has brought a blond, attractive woman with him: Julie.

HERZL: Where have you been? I have been on tenterhooks! Have you read the play?

JACOB: How are you?

HERZL: I have lost the fire and inspiration of youth but come, have you read "Refugee From Romance?" Tell me all your thoughts, all of them, front to back.

JACOB: What have producers said?

HERZL: Ach, last week in Berlin I just had to grovel, grovel in excrement, just to get an audience with Herr Director of the Burgtheatre.

JACOB: And?

HERZL: It’s appalling. Appalling. You know and these artistic directors are so vain, so conservative and vain, so high-minded and conservative and god forbid they produce something the audiences actually like! God forbid they give a new writer a chance - no matter... (Stops himself, clears throat, reads note) "Dear Sir, thank you for allowing me to read "Refugee From Romance" Perhaps if there were people in this play, and not copies of approximations of clichés lacking all dignity, we could find a place for it here at the Burg Theater." (He puts note down. A 180-degree turn) So it’s no good, you hate it too, it’s no good, fine. Now it’s said. It’s no good.

JACOB: It’s no good.

HERZL: No good. See? I know. I am working on a new one though. Very profound. My masterpiece (seamlessly) is it really no good?

JACOB: No. Julie, may I introduce my friend, Theodor Herzl?

JULIE: Lovely to meet you.

HERZL: Romance with gentiles, nicely done.

JACOB: She’s Jewish.

JULIE: The blond is natural.

HERZL: What if I move the Countess’s revelation to the third act-?

JACOB: Dori I have news.

HERZL: Oh? (Jacob pauses) You found a job? (An idea) To get past the university quota you’re going to convert!

JACOB: You’re horrifying.

JULIE: (Coquettish) Is he?

JACOB: You don’t know the half of it. Our boy Herzl here once joined "The League of Germans for Preserving German Culture."

HERZL: I quit.

JACOB: They threw the Jews out.

HERZL: And to protest such a policy I resigned. I am very proud of my heritage.

JULIE: My parents will only let me marry a Jew.

HERZL: So... the news?

JACOB: (Swallows, steels himself. This is big news) I’m going to Argentina. I’ve asked Julie to accompany me. She says that’s the last place she’d want to be.

HERZL: (Suddenly very serious) You’re leaving me?

JACOB: Dori.

HERZL: You are my only friend here. I need you. You are the only man – person – I trust, love. In this whole miserable city!

JACOB: Can’t you see? They are winning –

HERZL: Who?

JACOB: The anti-Semites, Duhring!

HERZL: There are anti-Semites everywhere.

JACOB: Not everywhere. Baron Hirsch has bought thousands of acres in Patagonia as a refuge for Russian Jews fleeing from Cossacks-

HERZL: ( To Julie) Oh thank god, I can stand no more of that Russian ghetto trash in Vienna -

JACOB: You can come too.

HERZL: Do they have theatres there? (Silence) Opera? ( Silence) Cafes?

JACOB: They have coffee.